Listening Deeply: A Subtle Art for Leadership Success

I’ve been thinking a lot about listening as a critical leadership skill.  The best leaders I’ve known have been great listeners.  I met with one recently and her listening skills and ability to welcome diverse perspectives stayed in my mind long after.  There is something about being in the presence of a leader who makes you feel as though your perspectives are valuable too.  Good leaders know how to do this, and they understand that it benefits them as well.

Leaders who listen well operate from a place of curiosity.  Constantly looking for insight, they look to gain as much information as possible from as many sources to inform their work and approach.  This way of being is the opposite of believing you hold all of the solutions.

I thought about this as I was watching the reality series Undercover Boss this past season. Did you see it? Each week, a different CEO went undercover in their company to learn about the reality of operations and the daily life of their employees.  Once they went undercover, they spent most of their time listening.  They talked with their front-line employees about their experiences on the job and asked a lot of questions, probably more so than they probe and listen on a daily basis in their CEO role.  The insight they gained moved each CEO to make positive changes in the company’s operations and for their employees.  

Listening is a good thing. And asking questions – particularly the right ones - is a complimentary skill that is necessary for successful leadership.

Ronald Heifetz, director of the Leadership Education Project at Harvard University's John F. Kennedy School of Government said, "Most leaders die with their mouths open. Leaders must know how to listen."  He explains that good listening is connected to curiosity, empathy, and taking a genuine interest in other people.  It’s a “subtle” art, he says, one that is not about only hearing what is being said but understanding the subtext as well.  Not just hearing, but listening deeply.

Listening and relating to others are interpersonal skills, which are central to leadership.  So much of the task is about knowing ourselves first.  How we listen is often influenced by our preferences, particularly our tendencies for introversion and extroversion.  Everyone processes and responds to information differently, and it’s important to understand both sides of the coin so that we can understand not only our own preferences, but those of people who are different from us.
For example, extroverts tend to think aloud while introverts prefer to have time to reflect before they offer their thoughts and they don’t like to be interrupted.  Leadership requires the flexibility to be able to interact well with both kinds of people, and to recognize our own preferences.  

Extroverted leaders might need to work on listening even more – not interrupting others, practicing patience in letting more introverted colleagues think through their thoughts and get through presenting them fully.  If you’re an introvert, you may need to be more aware of your tendency to need plenty of time to reflect, or you may need to work on being more vocal sooner to let colleagues know that you’ve heard their comments and perhaps need time to process them.
All of this takes self-awareness, patience, empathy, and a willingness to be accepting of difference.  Listening is multi-layered and something that we get better at with practice, like most leadership skills.  

The good news is that the work to improve in this area is worth it.  By fine-tuning our listening skills, we can receive honest feedback (and more of it!), uncover the wisdom of colleagues, garner information about our environment and industry to make more strategic decisions, build relationships, engage supporters and colleagues, and better serve clients.  

What challenges do you face in listening well?  What aspects of it are most difficult for you? Have you found tips or strategies for improving your listening skills?  What have you learned through practice about being a better listener?  

I’d love to hear your thoughts as you work on this and I’ll leave you with one final tip: start at home!  Often the most challenging place for listening intently is with the people we are closest to. Practice your listening skills with your children, friends, and significant other, and see if it impacts your ability to improve in this area of your leadership.  Come back and leave your updates in the comments below

Additional resources:
Why Leadership Means Listening by Carmine Gallo, Bloomberg Businessweek
Podcast: Listening and Leadership, Center for Creative Leadership
Introverts and Extraverts in the Workplace by Naomi Karten
Are You Talking to Me? Rx for Extraverts and Introverts by Bruna Martinuzzi of Clarion Enterprises

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Tiffany Nicole Fletcher helps nonprofit organizations engage supporters to advance their mission for social change by providing guidance in communications, fundraising and engagement strategy; writing and research; and managing strategic partnerships.  She has served as president of an award-winning online magazine devoted to issues of identity, community, and diversity. She also established a network of funders committed to strategic dialogue and action to improve the lives of women and girls in New York City. Tiffany is a graduate of Columbia University and the Robert F. Wagner Graduate School of Public Service at NYU and resides in New York City, where she actively volunteers for the New York Women’s Foundation. She tweets @tnfletcher.